I realized one day that we hold grudges and stay mad at people because we want them to be truly sorry for what they've done to us and by doing so, help us in our healing.
But sometimes that sorrow is not forthcoming because they do not see any thing wrong in what they did or they do not know that they did wrong. And so we hold on to our anger and wonder how the other could be so insensitive, a thought which adds fuel to the flames.
But they say anger does more damage to the angry person than it does the object of anger. Holding on to anger is a sure way to punish ourselves. So what are we to do?
I realized one day that we should bring our shattered hearts to God and let him fix the pieces. The psalmist says, God heals the brokenhearted. So we should take the psalmist at his word, bring our broken hearts to God and let God do the healing.
Maybe healing comes with a change of perspective. Maybe the person who thought he did no harm was right after all. Or, maybe there is real damage and it might not repair the relationship. But at least we let go of the anger and find ourselves in a better position to forgive when the person comes around and is truly sorry.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
It's Not About Us
I've always wondered about the crucifixion. Tonight, after dreaming a strange, completely unrelated dream, I think I gained insight.
Fr. Arnel had a nice homily about the crucifixion. He says it may be about Jesus dying to save us from our sins. But he says maybe more importantly, he died because he loved us outrageously. You can find his homily here: https://www.facebook.com/lelanddelacruz/posts/10152727423240843?notif_t=like
While I like Fr. Arnel's take on the crucifixion better than traditional interpretations, I still like what I learned in Theology 151 better. That Jesus died because he did not deny that he was God. And he hung on to that statement even after he was brutally tortured. Thus the ending in one of the Gospels (Matthew) where a Roman said, truly this was the Son of God.
But what always remained a mystery to me was how to relate to this Jesus and his Passion and Death. As with the Ignatian contemplation, at the foot of the cross, how am I supposed to behave? Should I say sorry for my sins? Should I proclaim that I am his disciple and suffer the consequences?
Tonight after I woke up in the middle of the night, I realized that the thing for me to do is to walk with Jesus through his Passion, yes, and suffer the consequence. But more importantly, to pray for Jesus on his road to Cavalry. To support him as best I can so that he sees it through to the end. To stay up with him in Gethsemane and provide comfort and support. To walk with him through His extended period of suffering and carry his cross when he is too weak to carry it himself.
The last, long temptation of Jesus is to walk away from it all; to run from his own Passion and Crucifixion. To use his powers to free himself and smite them all. And on the other side of the equation, to harbor hatred for those who crucified him and despair in his heart toward His Father.
I see now that, whatever it means practically for my life, the thing for me to do is to support Jesus to do what he had to do. To carry his cross when he fell. To pray his own prayer for him and to him while he suffered and died. To support his mother so that he need not worry about her.
And after I realized this, I prayed the Stations of the Cross in my mind, and I said a prayer for Jesus, the prayer he taught us all. And I said a prayer for Mary. Pray for them while I walk with them and stay with them. Really, that's all I can do.
I guess the problem with traditional notions of the crucifixion is that we think it's all about us. But it isn't. It's about Jesus and his mission and our role in helping him fulfill it.
Fr. Arnel had a nice homily about the crucifixion. He says it may be about Jesus dying to save us from our sins. But he says maybe more importantly, he died because he loved us outrageously. You can find his homily here: https://www.facebook.com/lelanddelacruz/posts/10152727423240843?notif_t=like
While I like Fr. Arnel's take on the crucifixion better than traditional interpretations, I still like what I learned in Theology 151 better. That Jesus died because he did not deny that he was God. And he hung on to that statement even after he was brutally tortured. Thus the ending in one of the Gospels (Matthew) where a Roman said, truly this was the Son of God.
But what always remained a mystery to me was how to relate to this Jesus and his Passion and Death. As with the Ignatian contemplation, at the foot of the cross, how am I supposed to behave? Should I say sorry for my sins? Should I proclaim that I am his disciple and suffer the consequences?
Tonight after I woke up in the middle of the night, I realized that the thing for me to do is to walk with Jesus through his Passion, yes, and suffer the consequence. But more importantly, to pray for Jesus on his road to Cavalry. To support him as best I can so that he sees it through to the end. To stay up with him in Gethsemane and provide comfort and support. To walk with him through His extended period of suffering and carry his cross when he is too weak to carry it himself.
The last, long temptation of Jesus is to walk away from it all; to run from his own Passion and Crucifixion. To use his powers to free himself and smite them all. And on the other side of the equation, to harbor hatred for those who crucified him and despair in his heart toward His Father.
I see now that, whatever it means practically for my life, the thing for me to do is to support Jesus to do what he had to do. To carry his cross when he fell. To pray his own prayer for him and to him while he suffered and died. To support his mother so that he need not worry about her.
And after I realized this, I prayed the Stations of the Cross in my mind, and I said a prayer for Jesus, the prayer he taught us all. And I said a prayer for Mary. Pray for them while I walk with them and stay with them. Really, that's all I can do.
I guess the problem with traditional notions of the crucifixion is that we think it's all about us. But it isn't. It's about Jesus and his mission and our role in helping him fulfill it.
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