Signing Off, For Now

Years ago, I did what the Jesuits call a 19th annotation or a Retreat in Daily Life. That involved a 30 minute prayer period every day and monthly consultations with a spiritual director.

The trickiest part of the 19th annotation was finding time and space to pray.

I'd often pray at night in our small condo unit when my wife was asleep. But sometimes she'd wake up and (maybe because she was pregnant then) I had to attend to her. My spiritual director said it was absolutely right to attend to my wife during those moments and interrupt prayer.

I find myself in a similar situation now. Doing these daily posts takes time. Sometimes I know what to write after taking one look at the readings. At other times, it's a struggle. I have to go through the passages several times. I have to look at bible notes or search the internet (including Wikipedia!) for inspiration. This season of Lent has been particularly difficult readings-wise.

And it's time I need for other things like dissertation (the tragedy being that I'm more consistent here on Readings for the Day than in dissertation. Maybe this time around, "the wife" is the dissertation). I also need time to rest and release myself from dealing with one more daily expectation.

So last night, I decided it's time to stop posting readings for the day until such time as conditions are right again. I was hoping to finish all three mass cycles but I guess I'll have to defer that ambition.

Thanks to all the faithful readers and it's amazing that I see that there are consistent readers from Russia (!), the U.S., and of course, the Philippines.

I don't know when I'll be back but you can subscribe to the blog by email. There's a subscription button to the right and that could be a way to alert you to new posts.

It's been fun while it lasted, especially those moments when I'd reflect on eschatology, Saul, and John the Baptist. Maybe the message is, that's enough for now. I've learned what I've needed to learn at this point in time.

Squandering Our Freedom (Luke 15: 11-32)

(An old essay, undated)

It is a natural tendency of young people to want to assert their freedom vis a vis their elders. But I think that it’s a much more basic truth that the tension between freedom and responsibility, guidance and independence is something we live with all throughout our lives. The only difference is that when we were younger we articulated this tensions rather violently, questioning authority, always asking “Why?” As we get older, we live out these questions, perpetually facing situations (in relationships, in work) where we have to ask “Why should I do what is right when I derive so much satisfaction from doing what is wrong?” We find ourselves failing to disclose information to our bosses, figuring that the less they know, the freer we are to do as we please. As we grow up, we resent bosses who are perpetually “in our face”.

I think the same is true of our spiritual lives. How often has it been said that we are merely Sunday Catholics who go to mass probably to avoid the burden of guilt or out of tradition and habit? And isn’t it the normal occurrence that we frequent our God only when we need help? We ask for “divine intervention” or seek guidance over a decision” and more often then not, we leave God alone, or more accurately, we tell God “Thanks for being around, but I think we can do it on our own. We’ll tell you if we need your help”.

What the Son asked for in the story of theProdigal Son was much more than his material inheritance but also his freedom. Like a rebellious teen-ager, the Prodigal Son asked for the wealth and independence that was to be eventually his and wandered far away from his Father’s guidance. What the Prodigal Son squandered was much more than his material wealth but also the freedom to choose what to do with his life, away from anyone telling him what he ought to do, counseling him on what is right and what is wrong.

But the Son quickly learned that this was the wrong way to live. He realized that, acting alone, he had squandered his freedom and found himself bankrupt, bankrupt materially and bankrupt of any form of meaningful existence. He therefore resolved to go back to his Father, willing to become a slave. The Father rejoiced upon seeing him return, happy to see him and probably happy that the son had come to the right mature decision on his own. Instead of making the Son a slave, the Father gave to the Son wealth and restored to him the freedom he had squandered.

It isn’t clear from the Gospels why the Son returned. Was it because he was truly sorry for what he had done to His Father, the insult of asking for his inheritance while his father was still alive? Or was it because he ran out of money and therefore he had to find the means to sustain his existence? Something tells me it was the latter reason. The Prodigal Son is so much like us, running to Papa only when we are in trouble. The nice thing about our God is that, like a fool, he always obliges us, at least with his presence.

There’s also nothing in the Gospels about what happened to the Prodigal Son after the feast. He probably conducted mini-experiments with his newly resurrected freedom.

All throughout our lives we feel this tension, this need to “strike it out on our own”. We learn to resent authority and publicly (or behind everyone’s backs) question all the rules. This maybe valid to some extent when we are guided by human (and therefore imperfect) authority. Sometimes, the responsible thing to do is to responsibly question authority and institutions to learn the meaning behind these authorities and institutions or to improve them (or to get rid of them if that’s necessary)

But what I think the story of the Prodigal Son teaches us is that it never pays to stray too far from our God. Like the Prodigal Son, if we squander our freedom we will eventually reach the point where our existence will seem meaningless. Our freedom is only relevant when we exercise it within the guidance of the Almighty.

---

Post-script. 

What does it mean then not to stray too far from God? I don’t think it is necessarily to follow the Hierarchical Church blindly. There are certain moral rules with roots in the Church that have become universally accepted as Universal values. But we must remember that the Church itself is an institution, thus an imperfect representation of the Will of Christ. Like all institutions, it must constantly be improved.

I think staying close to God means prayer and an active sacramental life. These actions are manifestations of our desire to stay close to God. In the end, I think all the Father needs is for us to continually express the desire to be close to Him. A famous prayer articulates well this desire:

Day by Day, oh Dear Lord

Three things I pray,

To see thee more clearly,

To love thee more dearly,

To follow thee more nearly,

Day by Day

When we express that desire persistently, we learn slowly that God will not allow us to stray too far from him.

Katiwala II (Matthew 21: 33-43, 45-46)

A few months ago, I wrote an entry I entitled Katiwala (caretaker). And after writing that entry, I realized the importance of today's Gospel passage.

So first let me reproduce my old entry here:


When I run out of ideas on what to post, one of the sites I refer to is www.mass-schedules.com, which, despite its generic name, is a website for the Philippine mass schedules.


The site's reflection for the day (which will disappear tomorrow) says this: "Jesus' story about a businessman who leaves town and entrusts his money with his workers made perfect sense to his audience. Wealthy merchants and businessmen often had to travel abroad and leave the business to others to handle while they were gone". 


I'll run off on a tangent from there. While the concept of "stewardship" is not new, I think the Filipino translation is more descriptive of our place relative to things: tayo'y katiwala. Katiwala evokes images of people allowed  by owners to live for free in houses that are otherwise not occupied or people in rural areas allowed by owners of land to live on and plant in that land. I'm not all that comfortable with the concept of stewardship because it denotes a certain level of co-equality with the owner and not enough of servanthood and accountability. 


The word katiwala makes it clear that we are servants and clearly not the owners of various stuff. Nothing is ours. If you believe Kahlil Gibran, even our children are not ours. Pinagkatiwala lang sila sa atin. (They were just entrusted to us)


The question then becomes what do we do with the things and people entrusted to us. Mapagkakatiwalaan ba tayo? (Can we be trusted?) And when the owner comes back, what do we as katiwala have to show for it? 


The Gospel for today is all about katiwala. A landowner goes on a journey and asks his tenants to take care of the land. When harvest time drew near, the landowner sent servants to obtain his produce but the tenants beat these servants to death. He sent a second batch but they were treated the same way. Finally, he sends his son and the tenants still kill his son.

I think the tenants forgot that the land and its produce was not theirs but that they were merely stewards of the landowner's land.

I don't think the Gospel for today should just be directed to people who are like the Pharisees and the chief priests but applies to all of us who sometimes forget that we are merely katiwala, that everything is gift freely given by God to us and we must remain openhearted enough to surrender what is asked for when it is asked for.

Trust in the Lord (Jeremiah 17:5-10 and Luke 16:19-31)

If I were to create a theme for the readings today, it would be Trust in the Lord. 


The passage from Jeremiah says this explicitly and it is such a nice passage I copy it below. Jeremiah exhorts people to trust in the Lord and not in man. For me, this passage from Jeremiah is the Old Testament version of the Our Father. Give us today our daily bread, Lord. It is in you that we place our trust and turn to for our needs. And those who trust in the Lord are like trees "planted beside the waters that stretches out its roots to the stream: It fears not the heat when it comes, its leaves stay green. In the year of drought it shows no distress, but still bears fruit. "


The image of the daily bread also seems appropriate given the Gospel passage of today which is about Lazarus eating off the crumbs of the rich man. The rich man turned to his wealth for his daily needs but we can assume that Lazarus relied on the Lord. The rich man's wealth does nothing to save him in the afterlife. In the end, his wealth was unreliable.


The Psalm for the day seems to cap it all nicely: Blessed are they who hope in the Lord! 




---
Thus says the LORD:
Cursed is the man who trusts in human beings,
who seeks his strength in flesh,
whose heart turns away from the LORD.
He is like a barren bush in the desert
that enjoys no change of season,
But stands in a lava waste,
a salt and empty earth.
Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose hope is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted beside the waters
that stretches out its roots to the stream:
It fears not the heat when it comes,
its leaves stay green;
In the year of drought it shows no distress,
but still bears fruit.
Jeremiah 17: 5-10

Be Careful What You Wish For (Matthew 20:17-28)

In today's Gospel, the mother of the sons of Zebedee asks Jesus to place her sons on his side in his kingdom. 


Maybe the mother of James and John thought that Jesus was an earthly Messiah and so she asked for her sons to have the place of honor. 


I guess this is a bad case of being inattentive because Jesus had just said "Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death, and hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified." So the place on the left and right of Jesus were not places of honor but dishonor, occupied by two thieves. 

That is why Jesus replies, "You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?" which must have sounded like a strange question because why can't anyone drink from another person's chalice? And drink from the chalice James did, dying by the Herod's sword.

Maybe John escaped a violent death because he did drink of the cup of Jesus somewhat when he was brave enough to stand at Jesus' side during the crucifixion. 

The Chair of Moses (Matthew 23:1-12)

It is wrong to think that occupying positions of power is necessarily wrong. I think it's clear from today's Gospel that's not what Jesus meant by being humble rather than being exalted.

Jesus says the Pharisees and the scribes have taken their places on the chair of Moses but taking the chair by itself is not the problem. The problem is that they do not practice what they preach and they use the law to lay burdens on the Jews.

Jesus teaches us the proper attitude to positions: that those who are greatest must be everyone else's servants.

Acquittal (Romans 8:31b-34, Deuteronomy 9: 4b-10, Psalm 79, Luke: 6:36-38)

The Old Testament passages for today are all about repentance. 


The passage from Deuteronomy contains an acknowledgement of disobedience:


We have sinned, been wicked and done evil;
we have rebelled and departed from your commandments and your laws.
We have not obeyed your servants the prophets,
who spoke in your name...

The Responsorial Psalm joins in on the act and asks the Lord not to deal with us according to our sins. 

A line from the second reading from yesterday seems to summarize the response to these readings very well. St. Paul in the letter to the Romans says: "It is God who acquits us, who will condemn?" 

And if God himself against whom sins are committed acquits us of our sins, who are we to condemn others? And so Jesus says, ""Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. "Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned."

The Price of Obedience (Genesis 22:1-19, Romans: 8:31b-34, and Mark 9:2-10)

The readings for the day remind me of an earlier post about the "rewards" of obedience. Moses promises his people prosperity if they obey God's commandments. Jesus' obedience on the other hand leads to the cross.


The contrast today is between Abraham and Jesus. Abraham is tested and is ordered to kill his beloved son. When Abraham passes the test, God promises him the following:


I will bless you abundantly
and make your descendants as countless
as the stars of the sky and the sands of the seashore;
your descendants shall take possession
of the gates of their enemies,
and in your descendants all the nations of the earth
shall find blessing.


Unlike Isaac, Jesus was not spared by his own father but was handed over and thus, was condemned to die. His reward came not in this lifetime but in the afterlife when he is raised from the dead and is seated at the right hand of the Father.


But the bottom line that seems to pervade the bible is the message of obedience. Whether it is Abraham who is asked to sacrifice his only son, or Jesus who is asked to give up his own life, regardless of outcome or reward, the bottom line is obedience. 

Holiness (Matthew 5:43-48)

"Be holy as your heavenly Father is holy."
Matthew 5: 48

Jesus sets a pretty high standard here. Be holy as your heavenly Father is holy.

I had the chance to listen to a priest talk about this line from the bible and he said that if we're really honest with ourselves, we don't want to be holy. Holiness sounds like you have to become a priest or a nun or involves suffering for others. In the Gospel today, Jesus says holiness involves loving your enemy.

Holiness sounds goody-goody. If we're honest with ourselves, we want to remain sinners and find it convenient that there is a chance to have our sins absolved. We want to enjoy life and holiness seems to be the opposite of enjoyment. (The kernel of the thought came from the priest. I've editorialized of course :-)

In the end, we might say that holiness is nice, but it isn't for me.

But I suppose holiness doesn't have to be boring. If we consider Jesus as the paragon of holiness, he seemed to like to dine with people. His first appearance in the Gospel of John after all was the Wedding at Cana. After his resurrection, he often asked if his apostles had any food with them. And he probably enjoyed the company of his friends.

I think the attitude for those of us who do not really want to be holy and are now confronted with this mandate from Jesus to be holy as his father is holy is to beg God for the grace to want to be holy despite ourselves. This probably is the appropriate attitude because in the end, our holiness (whatever that may entail) can only be a product of God's grace and not our efforts.

Thoughts (Matthew 5: 20-26)

In the Gospel today, Jesus raises the standard on the meaning of murder. According to him, "Thou shalt not kill" applies not only to those who actually kill but also involves those who are angry at others. 

I think this is Jesus' version of a familiar quote:

Watch your thoughts, they become words. 

Watch your words, they become actions. 

Watch your actions, they become habits. 

Watch your habits, they become your character. 

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

If we look at the Gospel, there is almost a similar pattern:

Watch your thoughts, they become words. 

whoever says to his brother, ‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna. 

The commentary in the Gospel suggests that "Raqa" means imbecile or blockhead. In Tagalog, gago.

Watch your words, they become actions. 

Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Refer to the quote above on fiery Gehenna.

I don't think Jesus was saying necessarily that anger is murder. I think what he's saying is that anger leads to that slippery slope which could lead to murder. So before things get out of hand, deal with the anger and in the process, save your soul. 

Ask (Esther C, Psalm 138, Matthew 7:7)

Ordinary Time pretty much walked us through the Gospel of Mark and right before Lent, the letter of James. Because of this, the theme in the Gospel may not be the theme in the first reading. During Lent, however, the mass readings seem to follow certain themes and there is no single Gospel  that is followed. Yesterday, it was Luke, today it is Matthew.

The theme for today is about asking. In the First Reading, Esther begs God to spare her life and give her strength for an act that might lead to her death. The response for today's psalm is "Lord, on the day I called for help, you answered me." And the Gospel for today is the familiar saying, "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find."

The readings for today remind me of some basic lessons the Jesuits have taught me. Jesuit prayers always start with petitions, begging the Lord for this or that grace. And the stance of the person who prays is that of a beggar and this stance reflects a basic truth: that God is the source of all grace and that by definition, grace is pure gift and is given to us out of love and not because we are worthy of such grace.

The good news is that God is a gracious giver but the graces he gives may not necessarily be the graces we asked for. But the graces he gives are the graces we need at the moment he gives them.